Midland Street Whine Walk
'The Lost Tapes'

Not really a whine walk. It's a wine walk. But if it was a whine walk . . .

July 4, 2006       Leave a Comment
By: O. J. Cunningham

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I told a friend of mine (Dan) that I was going to the Midland Street wine walk.

Dan said why would you go someplace where everyone was going to be whiny.

I said it's not a whine walk. It's a wine walk.

So Dan said, A whine walk? So everyone just walks around and whines?

And I said no, everyone walks around and drinks wine.

And Dan said I should take a tape recorder so I could record all the whining.

And I said, it's wine not whine.

And Dan said that it sounds like a waste of a good night to just get drunk and whine and complain all night.

And I said whatever.

And Dan said whatever.

And I said whatever.


And Dan said, at least you'll be outside when everybody's complaining.

And I said, we get to ride a limousine shuttle between wine tasting spots.

And Dan said, How much extra is that?

And I said, It's part of the package.

And Dan said, Why would you want to ride in a limousine with a bunch of whiny drunks?

I said, Maybe that's a fact cuz you can get 26 one-ounce glasses of wine.

And Dan said, I only like Cabernet.

And I said, I think you have to take what they give you at each location.

And Dan said, No wonder everyone's so whiny.

And I said whatever.

And Dan said whatever.

And I said whatever.

And Dan said, what kind of food do they have?

And I said just snacks and maybe some crackers and dip.

And Dan said, I like Italian food like spaghetti and lasagna and garlic bread when I drink wine.

And I said I don't think you get to order off the menu.

And Dan said, I don't think I'd go if the only thing they had was snacks.

And I said that I heard that maybe some of the places would have shrimp and some hot meatballs and stuff like that.

And Dan said, that sounds better. You get food, a limo ride and 26 ounces of wine. And how much does all this cost?

And I said $20 bucks.

And Dan said, I don't see why you're complaining. And I said whatever.

And Dan said whatever.

And I said whatever.

And Dan said, Got an extra ticket?

So I got to thinking about a whine walk. Not a wine walk. But a whine walk like Dan had imagined. Not to say that the Midland Street wine walk was anything to whine about. Cuz it was a great event. And everyone had a great time. And I didn't actually hear anyone whining at all during the wine walk. And I'm certainly going back again next year.

So none of this (below) whining actually happened during the Midland Street Wine Walk . . . and it certainly wasn't the Midland Street Whine Walk.

But if there was a Whine Walk instead of a Wine Walk . . . maybe a tape recorder would capture something like this . . .

(For best result, read the following as one long sentence, taking only one deeeeeeeepp breath. And try to sound as much like Fran Drescher - The Nanny - as you can.

DEEP BREATH . . . GO!

I'm gettin' a real buzz from all this wine. Does wine give you a hangover? I never usually drink wine. How come it's so hot? Where's the shuttle? Why are the glasses so small? Is 26 ounces of wine a lot of wine? It's so far all the way to Hooters. How come I can't have two glasses of red wine? How come I can't have two glasses of white wine? How come there isn't any salmon left? I'm thirsty. All this wine is making me sleepy. Why do we have to keep crossing the street? Why don't we just sit here? I like it here. I don't wanna sit outdoors. These peanuts are stale. There's no more plates. If I want a coke, do I have to pay for it? It's too windy. I don't wanna sit inside. It's too hot. Man, I am gettin' a buzz on. I don't see why we have to tip the shuttle driver. How we gonna get back to our car? I wish we'd have started at the other end instead of all the way down here. Are you gonna go get the car? Why did we park way over there? Do we have to walk all the way back there? I haven't seen the shuttle in about an hour. Somebody said there's meatballs some place. I like meatballs. I lost my shuttle ticket. I can't find my wine ticket. Does anybody know what bar's got the meatballs? Can I get another wine ticket? I left mine at the last bar. I don't like eating off paper plates. Did you say you found the meatballs? Maybe the shuttle guy knows where the meatballs are. Has anyone seen the shuttle guy? This is my 22nd glash of wine. 'Leven whites and 'leven reds. I didn't know I really like wine this mush. Anyone find those meatballs yet? We're gonna need a limo ride to the car.

Here's a Link to the Original Midland Street Wine Walk Article.

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O. J. Cunningham
O. J. Cunningham is the Publisher of MyBayCity.com. Cunningham previously published Sports Page & Bay City Enterprise. He is the President/CEO of OJ Advertising, Inc. More from O. J. Cunningham

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