AARP Follow-up - As Promised
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My column a few weeks ago concerning old age and AARP was very well-received. I received a number of calls and helpful "AARP-ian type hints.
Even got a few geezer jokes to help me pass the time. One of these is at the end of the column for you to enjoy . . . so keep reading.
Many readers commented on the "Death Clock" link. The Death Clock also made an impact at the MyBayCity.com workplace. At one point, last week, every employee's computer screen at OJ Advertising was pointed to the Death Clock. It was very eerie.
Here are a the Top 10 fixed income, cost-cutting ideas sent in by readers.
- 10 - Buy cheaper pet supplies
9 - Get movies at Hollywood Video - Only $1
8 - Freeze day-old bread
7 - Choose the 3-banana bunch
6 - Always ask for ketchup at the drive-through window
5 - Steal coffemate and sugar from the restaurant
4 - Use both sides of sticky-notes
3 - Flip your adding-machine tape - use both sides
2 - Always ask for a doggie-bag at the restaurant - Especially if you don't have a pet.
And the number way to cut day-to-day cost . . .
1 - Stop buying 2-ply toilet paper
Just when you thought it was safe - 4 More Life Expectancy Forcasting Tools:
Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance's Longevity Game
(Hold Ctrl Key if You Have a Pop-up Blocker when you Play)
Minnesota State Life-Expectancy Calculator
Microsoft's Money Web Site
Harvard Medical School's Living to 100
And If you made it through all of that . . . you probably need a joke to cheer you up a bit . . . Here goes . . .
(The Following Humor is Rated PG-13)
Harry is 88 years old and loves to fish.
Harry was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick meup."
Harry looked around and could not see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up."
Harry looked in the water and there floating on the top was a frog.
Harry asked the frog - "Are you talking to me"?
The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you.
The frog added: "Pick me up and kiss me and i'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen and will give you the most wonderful pleasure that you have ever dreamed of."
Harry looked at the frog for a short time and then reached over and picked it up carefully, placing it in his front breast pocket.
The frog said, "What, are you nuts, didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will give you pleasures like you have never had."
Harry opened his pocket, lookedat the frog and said, "At my age I'drather have a talking frog."
See you all at the AARP National Convention.
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O. J. Cunningham |
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