The State Theatre presents: Late Nite Catechism Vegas
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Sister Rolls the Dice on February 3 & 4
The convent needs a new roof; so she and the rest of her order pooled their months salary (totaling $373.25), and are bringing Sister's gambling skills (from 25 years of running the Church Bingo) and teacher's certificate to Las Vegas!
From Magic to Show Girls--Sister's new class covers the history of gambling as she plays some old parlor games. She also answers those questions you've been dying to ask.
'Is magic ok for Catholics to perform?' Only if its bad -- As Catholics we are not supposed to believe in magic, and we can't read Harry Potter either! 'Can you gamble without guilt?' Yes, as long as it's not the kids lunch money. 'Does what happens in Vegas really stay in Vegas?' Yes, but God sees everything! 'Is card counting a sin?' Only if you are not cheating, or you stupid and not good at it. 'Is gambling on poker stars.com a sin?' No, but it is very lonely. Sister will discuss?
The dangers of live animal acts
Magic and mysticism in the church
© The dangers of Pawnshops
(She is a huge fan of 'Pawn Stars' and realizes only 'Publics,' or people who have never heard of ebay, sell their valuables at pawnshops.)
Sister will go into great detail about the dangers of drive through wedding chapels. She says if you are too drunk to get out of the car then you should not be driving and definitely not be getting married!
Sister will clear up any confusion on whether drinking and gambling is a sin in the Catholic Church. It is not! 'Sister could stand at the black jack table with a high ball in one hand, cigarette in the other, place a bet and dance while she was doing it, and none of it would be a sin, a buzz kill for everybody else in the casino yes, but not a sin!'
Sister loves Texas Hold-em, and she will give a talk about proper Texas Hold-em etiquette for Catholics--She is a fan of Poker after dark where she cites examples of good behavior Daniel Negrano and bad behavior exemplified by Phil HEL(L)muth. (Who even has hell in his name!)
Las Vegas gives Sister's childhood love of Harry Houdini an opportunity to pick an assistant to do a few magic tricks to the awe of the crowd. You can watch sister make a dollar disappear and turn into 24 bowls of rice in Cambodia!
At last it is time for Sister to invite the class to join her in one of her hilarious interactive games. She selects contestants from the audience to spin her giant wheel and win spectacular prizes by testing their knowledge of Catholicism, gambling and pop-culture. She uses all the elements at her disposal to make her game show a funny and suspenseful combination of 'Jeopardy' and 'Let's Make a Deal, where she will let the winners choose several secret prizes (coupons from the Casino, or funny stupid Catholic stuff like Lenten Surprise - A giant of Costco can of Tuna to get your through the 40 days of Lent, or medallions to protect the Unlucky!'.
You won't want to miss the latest chapter of the Sinfully Funny Catechism Series that can only be seen in Las Vegas.
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Mike Bacigalupo - State Theatre |
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