Doggie Beaches -- There Were Thousands of Turdlettes Rolling in the Water
April 3, 2014
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"HEY! . . . HEY DOG! . . . STOP Pooping in the Ocean.
The Cunningham's went to Florida for a week during the Winter Wrath that included a pair of chilling events called . . . The Polar Vortex (#1 & #2).
We decided (chose poorly) to drive so that we could take our 5 year old female Golden Retriever -- "River."
(SIDE NOTE: If you're past retirement age and are planning on driving from Michigan to Florida, during the winter, in the near future . . . Call Me! I'll try to talk you out of it . . . HERE'S THE DEAL . . . You're not as young as you used to be and . . . it's not the 70's any more. Don't do it.)
Dogs are certainly man's best friend . . . But . . . Two things to know --
Although it was difficult (We almost had to sleep in the car) to find a Florida beach rental on short notice, we were fortunate (with the help of the INTERNET) to find a beautiful (I really mean expensive) spot on the beach near Bonita Springs.
First thing I was told . . . "No Dogs on the Beach."
What the . . . ?
"RIVER"
No Dogs Allowed
Photo by O. J. Cunningham
© MyBayCity.com
The condo associations had "beach patrols" that monitored activities on the Gulf of Mexico waterfront. Looking for dogs to chase off the beach. And there were fines if you didn't comply.
Kinda reminded me of the "No Dogs Allowed" music from the Peanuts cartoon (Snoopy Come Home) . . . Click Here!
I was sad for our "River" because she has always had unlimited access to lakes and rivers here in Michigan. She's a water dog by breed. And . . . It was pretty darn warm in Florida for a long-haired Golden.
So . . . you can imagine how excited I was to learn of the "Doggy Water Beach Park" just North of where we were staying.
Here's what I found when I Googled . . .
Looking for a great beach where you'll be able to take your BEST FRIEND in the whole world?
NO LEASH REQUIRED!!
Dog Beach in Bonita Springs is one of the only a few "pets permitted" public beaches on the west coast of southern Florida. Open dawn to dusk!
Perfect!
When we hit the doggie beach, I immediately released "River" from her leash and off she went . . . mingling with the other 30+ dogs who were also bounding, frolicking, splashing and retrieving balls and such from owners standing on the sandy shore.
Not me . . . I waded out (crotch deep) in my shorts and sandals and splashed water on my dog (and myself) as we chased and played in the warm gulf of Mexico water. We were in FLORIDA. YEA!!!!!
OH! . . . MY! . . . GOD! . . .
Never saw it coming . . .
As soon as "River" got back into shallow water . . . "River" squatted and took a "dump" of magnanimous "big dog" proportions . . . RIGHT INTO THE WATERS OF THE GULF OF MEXICO!!!!!.
I never, ever, saw a dog poop in the ocean before. Dogs don't poop in the ocean.
Would you expect a dog to just squat at poop in the ocean?
Of course, you wouldn't.
And then it hit me . . . like a tidal wave of raw sewage.
Yup . . . You got it right . . . All of these doggie beach dogs (all 30 of them) were pooping (or had already pooped) in the water.
And I immediately realized that I was the only idiot, human, dog owner out wading and splashing in the . . . how shall I put it? . . . BLACK WATER.
Upon closer inspection, (OH YEAH -- I bent down to take a closer look) there were thousands of little turdlettes rolling around in the shallow water . . . I'm not exaggerating . . . THOUSANDS!!!!
By the time we (the dog and I) got out of there, we both smelled more like raw sewage than we smelled like Florida sunshine.
I spent over an hour in the shower (back at the beach house) with the dog trying to get the stink off. I think it was Head & Shoulders that finally did the trick for the dog.
And . . . no . . . we did not make a return trip to doggie beach.
I can only imagine the snickering of the other experienced dog owners who were standing on the beach tossing balls and sticks out to their pets . . . laughing at (ME) the rookie dog owner frolicking crotch-deep in the BLACK WATER at doggie beach.
Seriously . . . Would you expect a dog to just poop in the ocean?
Have you ever seen it?
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O. J. Cunningham |
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