Like a Medieval Kangaroo Court, Congress Pillories the Auto Industry

Billions for the Bankers, But Not One Cent for Hard-Working Automakers

November 19, 2008
By: Dave Rogers

Three huge beasts tagged GM, Ford and Chrysler are chained in the arena.

Surrounding are armed guards (U.S. Senators) with huge bloody knives.

"Kill the beasts," says Sen. Bob Corker of Tennessee. "They want to continue to eat even when they aren't working the fields."

"Give them only a cupful of grain a day, they can live on that can't they?" shouts Sen. Bob Casey of Pennsylvania.

"Take a pay cut to $1 a year, just like Lee Iacocco did!" shouts another to the executives.

"Work faster! Work for less! Get more gas mileage!" is the cry all around.

Listening to the Senate Banking Committee's hearings on $25 billion in loans to the auto industry is like a watching medieval court in a bad movie.

You have your court jesters, the King (Sen. Chris Dodd of Connecticut, complete with white crown), your bishop (the professor with the outlandish polka-dot bow tie), your defendant/petitioners, Mullaly of Ford, Wagoner of General Motors and Nardelli of Chrysler.

"You took $200 million from Home Depot, didn't you, Mr. Nardelli," a senator snarls from behind an accusatory finger, dredging up an irrelevancy from the past that goes unnoticed.

And your previously-convicted party, Ron Gettelfinger of the United Auto Workers. All fingers point at him. "He's guilty -- he should die," the accusing parties chant, nodding in unison that the workers make too much money.

"Just let us live until next year, until the sun comes out again," the auto executives plead.

"You'll be back, this won't be the end," growls an unsympathetic senator. "Your sins of the past will follow you to the end of your days."

Sen. Corker of Tennessee, plays the evil prince, demanding the auto companies remove pay for laid off workers (let them eat cake fashion).

Sen. Jon Tester, the rural bumpkin who rode to court on a huge oxen, complains his ox eats too much grain; can you find less hungry oxen? he asks the begowned defendants. (His point, light trucks, which presumably he drives, don't get that much better gas mileage than when he started farming.)

Like education, in which everybody who ever went to school is an expert on schools, apparently everybody who ever drove a car or truck considers themselves an expert on the vehicle industry.

"You're making money overseas; just shift that money here," suggests one out-of-touch senator, who has to be gently reminded that is how business operates and balance has already been achieved.

Screaming in the background as the session breaks up is a shrill-voiced woman "We don't want any corporate welfare; put $25 billion into green jobs."

Meanwhile, in the back room of the castle, fat bankers laden with jewels, sloshing huge goblets of wine as minstrels and dancing girls surround them, carve up the fattened swine -- $700 billion worth.

"We're not sure how to use it, where we'll use it, but we've got it, they drool. Yeah, we've got it. Banks need money, more money, more money . . ."

Will the auto industry be saved? Will it succumb to the foibles of all the king's men? Will it be carved into pieces and thrown to the waiting hungry mouths of the Toyotas, Nissans and Hondas? Never to rise again.

The ultimate irony is splashed across the op-ed page of the New York Times today: Mitt Romney, who probably would be maitre 'd at a Bloomfield Hills restaurant today had not his father George been president of American Motors, trashes the auto industry.

He knows surveys show 80 percent of the buying public wouldn't consider a car whose manufacturer had gone bankrupt, but bankrupt American auto companies is what conservative Romney wants. And that's why his party is clueless. And that's why, Lord willing, he will never be President.

The mantra arises from neocon ranks: Death to the UAW, they had the gall to negotiate good wages and benefits. That money should be going to profligate wastrels so they can pad their golden handshakes. We will not wonder what started it should the revolution come.

Therein lies the problem: hardly anyone is concerned about the common good, about the industrial base of the nation vital to national security, about jobs that are the bedrock of the economy. They all have a demented personal and political axe to grind, both Democrats and Republicans, a pet peeve to sooth, a witchy bitch to scratch. Where are the statesmen? The champions of the American way? The Lincolns who supported the common man in his work, and yes, in his union membership. We all have forgotten what the Republicans originally stood for, and why they became the party of the people, haven't we?

Stay tuned, folks, as the ongoing tragedy of Washington vs. Detroit plays out on the world stage. It is a comedy and a tragedy combined and we, the spectators, can only alternately weep and laugh. Let's hope there's a remote chance we'll all be smiling at the end.###