YAWN . . .

August 2, 2009
By: O. J. Cunningham

Tiger Woods ought to be embarrassed.

Was it just me, or did anyone else NOT recognize any of those wannabee school boys hanging around at the top of the leader board during the television coverage of the Buick Open?

All of golf's BIG names (snicker) were "in the hunt."

Thatcher, Chalmers, Senden, Yang, Crane, Letzig, Vranesh, Rollins, Heintz, Austin and Jimmy "DynO-Mite" Walker.

Seriously . . . Who were those hackers pretending to challenge Tiger for the Warwick Hills Championship.

It looked (to me) like someone slipped a note under Tiger's door during the night that said . . . "Please don't embarrass us . . . We give up . . . Signed . . . The Field."

So instead of shooting 63 and winning by 10 strokes and embarrassing the rest of the field, Tiger put it in neutral and cruised the course with a 3-under 69 to win comfortably.

Once or twice during Sunday's coverage, I thought they should let everyone but Tiger hit from the "Ladies' Tees."

Once or twice during the Sunday coverage, I thought "What the heck is Tiger doing in this Junior Varsity tournament?" Did he get on the wrong bus? End up at the wrong course?

In 2007 Brian Bateman took home a first place check of $882,000 and a new Buick. In 2008, Kenny Perry claimed a check of $900,000 and a new car for his win. So I figure, 1st place this year should be right around a million bucks. Maybe that's not enough money for the OTHER big names of golf to spend a weekend in the Flint, Michigan area.

So . . . why was Tiger there?

I can only figure that General Motors gave Tiger a big chunk of government "bail out" guaranteed money to appear at the tournament. (I'm sure it spun the turn-stiles). And I wouldn't be surprised to see Tiger appear in an upcoming GM television advertising campaign.

Why else would he play?

For the Fed Ex points? RIGHT!!!!!

All the names on the Sunday Leader board belong to some really nice boys. And they're mothers are all very proud. But (it seemed to me) not one of them belonged on the same course as Tiger Woods.

Maybe I'm wrong and one day soon, we'll all be cheering . . . "Letzig, Letzig, Letzig," as Mike Letzig strolls up the 18th fairway at Augusta National to claim his unprecedented third straight Masters' Green Jacket."

Naw . . . Ain't gonna happen.

Tiger coasted through Sunday with 3 birdies and 15 pars. Tiger could have won by 10. He phoned it in.

Where was the electricity of Tom Watson? Phil? David Duval? Furyck? V.J? Boring!

Must be almost time for the Lions to extend that 16-game losing streak.

I really gotta stop watching TV on Sunday afternoon.