www.mybaycity.com September 19, 2010
Columns Article 5239

Too Much on my Mind

I really want to write about football . . . But I have no time . . .

September 19, 2010
By: O. J. Cunningham


Blah, Blah, Blah . . . Overtime . . . Spartans . . . Fake Field Goal . . . Lion's getting better . . . When is Stafford coming back? . . .

I'd really like to write about Brian Kelly and the fake field goal but I've got more important issues to deal with right now.

What could be more important than FOOTBALL, you ask?

Scooters and Depends . . . That's What. My mind is on Scooters and Depends.

I know you're scratching your collective heads right now . . . but let me explain.

What do YOU do when you're watching one of you favorite "regular" weekly television shows and an advertisement for "Depends" (RIGHT) comes on -- Offering style and protection just for you ? (FOR ME??)


I, for one, start squirming in my seat . . . wondering why the heck are they showing "ME" that advertisement? I immediately take the remote . . . click "INFO" . . . and see what channel I am actually watching . . . and I check the name of the program . . . just to be sure.

I am a firm believer that advertisers know exactly who is watching their ads. I am sure that network executives know exactly "who" is watching "what" program at any time of the day or night.

So . . . (Now, Follow Me On This) If I'm watching the program . . . and the network knows I'm watching . . . then the advertiser is actually intending that I see the Depend commercial.

Thing is . . . I don't think I'm quite ready for Depend products. But there must be a pretty good count of folks watching that do need to see the Depend commercial.

Then I get to thinking that maybe the programming that I'm watching isn't really intended for me. I think about changing the channel. What if all my favorite shows aren't "really" for me at all?


Same thinking when I got a "Scooter Store" (RIGHT) brochure in the mail earlier this week. Does the "Scooter Store" actually send everyone my age a first time "feeler" about those little Scooters when they turn a certain age?

I remember getting my first AARP card in the mail about one week after my 50th birthday. I remember being offended that (1) They somehow knew I was 50 years old. (2) Since I was 50 years old, the AARP people decided that I was of an age where I needed the benefit of carrying their card in my wallet.

Let's get this on the record:

  • I don't have an AARP card
  • I don't wear Depend products
  • My Scooter is not on order

    But . . . I was expecting a fake field goal by the Spartans and I truly believe the Lions are a "good team" if Stafford is healthy and calling the plays.

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