Thinking Out Loud
Minor Grievances

July 22, 2012
By: Diane Szczepanski

"I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kernels of irritation" ~ Whoopi Goldberg

I have pet peeves.

We all do.

They're the things that we don't understand, that irritate us, make us cranky or give us reason to scratch our head. Generally, they are not life-altering events, just petty annoyances which infiltrate their way into our days.

I speculate the question has been asked by many through the years, over one thing or another, "They can put a man on the moon, why can't they _______?" (Fill in your own personal _____'s.)

Here are some of mine:

..Produce pots that will allow me to pour coffee into my cup without having to hold the dishrag in my other hand. In spite of the fact that I have pretty decent aim, it inevitably dribbles all over a good portion of my kitchen counters, causing me to start my day annoyed every morning.

..Invent a self-cleaning bath tub. Then move that technology to self-cleaning floors. Imagine the time and the elbow grease we'd save.

..Come up with a universal remote or method to systematically change all the clocks for daylight savings time in the Spring, then back again in the Fall. That way, I wouldn't have run around my house manually changing the time on everything from the microwave to the grandfather clock.

(Or that one really high one over the kitchen sink, that I need my rickety desk chair to stand on to reach and fear breaking my neck on when doing so.)

..Make it legislation and mandatory for companies to use easy pull off stickers on products we purchase, so I don't have to: 1. Soak it in hot water for a month to loosen it. 2. Use a bottle of Goo-Gone. 3. Ruin my manicure trying to scratch it off.

..Concoct formulas for hand lotions that really make hands soft for more than 5 minutes, nylons that don't run and hair dyes that truly can cover the grays that threaten to take over my head like a bad weed in a lawn I'm trying to keep manicured.

With all the geniuses we have in our world who have come up with everything from micro-chip technology to nuclear medicine, are these simple requests too much to ask?

Oh, I guess I shouldn't let these things bug me so much. I will get over these minor pet peeves and irritations, in time. Besides, I have bigger fish to fry at this point in my day.

I need to go untangle, the untangle-able hose.