Emily Maynard -- 8 Million Viewers Every Week
8 Million Watch The Bachelorette
ARE YOU ONE OF THEM? (Updated 7/19/12)
July 19, 2012
By: O. J. Cunningham
About 8 million people watch the Bachelorette every Monday night at 8:00pm.
I don't.
Of course, as I've said before in this column . . . I don't really care much for "REALITY TV."
I've never watched Mad Men either. Just an FYI . . . From the recent ad campaign to launch the latest series of episodes, I figured that Mad Men was the most watched TV show on the planet.
Recent research has shown that this is not a fact.
Over the past seasons, only about 3 million people actually tune in to watch any given episode of Mad Men.
To put that number in perspective: Nine million people watch Jersey Shore, 8 million watch The Closer, and 7 million watch Pawn Stars. Remember -- 8 Million watch the Bachelorette.
So . . . . I asked myself . . . who is watching the Bachelorette?
I started asking everyone I know . . . Are you watching the Bachelorette? Are You? You? Anyone? How about you? 8 Million? Who? You? Anybody?
HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
And then I found one -- a viewer. And this viewer, who said he/she would only agree to be interviewed if I guaranteed that all comments would remain anonymous.
No Problem! I'm a professional interviewer. I respect a person's privacy. One thing you can count on when you're interviewed by OJ Cunningham is integrity. If you need to protect your identity -- I'm your guy . . . You can ask anyone.
All I will tell you about this anonymous (source) viewer is that it's one of the on-air hosts from the "Josh and Shawn Show" on LastChoiceCountry INTERNET Radio.
I can (grudgingly) give you one more clue . . . My Bachelorette viewer doesn't have a boat.
OK . . . (Stop Nagging) One More Clue . . . It's NOT Shawn. (Back Off, I got sources to protect.)
Here's the interview . . . in its entirety.
INTELLECTUALLY SNOBBY MyBayCity TV ANALYST: Seriously . . . Why the Hell are you watching the Bachelorette?
Anonymous Viewer (Not Shawn): I guess we're all kinda living the dream through the bachelors. Viewers (guys like me) just want to be one of the hopefuls. I actually would want to be the Bachelor next season and have all those pretty girls chasing after me.
INTELLECTUALLY SNOBBY MyBayCity TV ANALYST: No . . . Seriously . . . Why are you watching?
Anonymous Viewer (Not Shawn): You're right. We really don't watch it, actually. We DVR it and watch it later (the whole family) after we DVR Hell's Kitchen.
INTELLECTUALLY SNOBBY MyBayCity TV ANALYST: Hell's Kitchen? OMG (Laughing, uncontrollably). . . You're telling me you spend all of Monday night watching the Bachelorette and then Hell's Kitchen. That's Gordon (OMG) Ramsey, Right?
Anonymous Viewer (Not Shawn):(ANNOYED) Wait a minute there, Fur Face! Who the hell are you to judge what me and my wife watch on TV in my house? What the hell are you watching that's so much better than what I'm watching?
INTELLECTUALLY SNOBBY MyBayCity TV ANALYST: Hey . . . I'm asking the questions here, DJ Boy. You're the damn anonymous viewer (not Shawn) who watches the (Laughing, Even Harder) Bachelorette.
Anonymous Viewer (Not Shawn): Me and 8 million other viewers. 8 Million . . . 8 Million . . . 8 Million . . .
(The anonymous viewer (not Shawn) seemed a bit irritated and was now shaking a fist and thrusting it into the air as he chanted . . .)
INTELLECTUALLY SNOBBY MyBayCity TV ANALYST: (TRYING TO REGAIN CONTROL OF THE INTERVIEW) Is this your first season watching the Bachelorette?
Anonymous Viewer (Not Shawn): One thing you gotta be careful about . . .
INTELLECTUALLY SNOBBY MyBayCity TV ANALYST: What's that?
Anonymous Viewer (Not Shawn): You gotta stay off FACEBOOK before the show is finished or you'll see who gets voted off and that will end all of the suspense.
INTELLECTUALLY SNOBBY MyBayCity TV ANALYST: Well, that's all the time we have . . . Tune in next week, when the MyBayCity TV Analyst interviews Shawn . . . to find out how that new boat is running.
NOW ABOUT THE CLOSER "INSIDE LEAK"
Will Pope
David Gabriel
I have figured out who the "Inside Leak" is in the Major Crimes Division on the Closer -- Monday Night -- 9:00pm TNT
Here's the scoop.
When The Closer finishes the current 6-show mini-season in August, a spin-off TV Series called
Major Crimes will begin -- Starring Mary McDonnell as Captain Sharon Raydor.
Everybody is staying for the new show except: J.K. Simmons (Will Pope) and Corey Reynolds (Sgt. David Gabriel) and, of course, Kyra Sedgwick (Brenda Leigh Johnson).
The Inside Leak has to be either Pope or Gabriel. (So Obvious)
The following cast members from The Closer will join Major Crimes:
Mary McDonnell as Captain Sharon Raydor
G. W. Bailey as Detective Lt. Louie Provenza
Tony Denison as Detective Lt. Andy Flynn
Michael Paul Chan as Detective Lt. Michael Tao
Raymond Cruz as Detective Julio Sanchez
Phillip P. Keene as Buzz Watson
The show will add the following cast members: Kearran Giovanni as Detective Amy Skyes and Graham Patrick Martin as Rusty. Recurring cast members will be Robert Gossett as Commander Russell Taylor and
Jon Tenney as Special Agent Fritz Howard.
Missing (And therefore the only possible "Inside Leak") -- J.K. Simmons, Corey Reynolds.
It's that easy folks . . .