Thinking Out Loud
Cool Mom Oxymoron
May 12, 2013
By: Diane Szczepanski
We are not meant to be "cool". We're mothers.
I want to be a cool mom. ~ Tori Spelling
Tori's in for a rude awakening.
Being a "cool mom" is a misnomer. There is no such thing.
Oh sure, we can be strive to be more conscious of fads, fashions and current events. But, any misguided mom who thinks that wearing a mini skirt and platforms in an attempt to be hip, will only suffer the wrath of horrified silence from their kid.
Your attempt at "cool" serves only to widen the gap of natural avoidance of contact with you when they reach their teens.
Just give it up.
We are not meant to be "cool". We're mothers.
Being a mother means saying no, when it's not cool to say no. It's setting rules that aren't the least bit "sick".
A mother allows herself to be the epitome of dorkiness, no matter how regarded she was in her former life for her cool reputation, so that her child has a secure and stable platform of which to spread their own wings.
I like to think of myself as fairly in tune with current music, fashion and styles. There have been times I wished my son recognized I'm not just a big rule-dropping buzz kill in the family crib.
But, the wisest words ever spoken came from my own child's mouth during a conversation when he was about 10 years old. I was explaining that I don't like to make decisions that disappoint him at times, but I have to. His response was, "I don't really like it sometimes, but I don't care if you're cool, I care that you're in control".
My words of advice Tori--give it up.
Be strong, be firm and don't be afraid of looking like a nerd in the eyes of your children. Which you will. A LOT. Just teach them well and forget the quest to be the cool mom.
Stay tough.
Let them be embarrassed, humiliated and mad when you have to make an "uncool" decision that you know is the correct one and will ultimately build their character.
You might be surprised to discover, they don't want a cool mom. They want a leader who teaches them from right and wrong, even if they kick and protest every step of the way.
Forget about cool parenting.
The world will thank you for it.