Thinking Out Loud
Unwelcome Visitors

March 16, 2014
By: Diane Szczepanski

Ah, but when one predator leaves, another inevitably will take its place. A void never remains a void for long.
A.T. Baron, A Tale of Two Squirrels

I'm afraid to go into my garage.

Not because the mess I left in there in the Fall is still waiting for me, but because I have good reason to believe an evil, mutant strain of squirrels have taken up residence amongst the patio furniture and lawn mowing essentials in my unkempt garage.

I hesitate to go in there, as I am certain they have set up an intricate defense post and have highly trained combatants at the ready.

The intelligent, overconfident strain of furry tailed rodents in my neighborhood have been increasing in numbers in recent years and have become arrogant, unwanted guests in my yard, tree and garage area.

In fact, one day last summer, I attempted to forcefully shoo out a rather audacious critter attempting to eat fruit from my golden raspberry bush.

I got within 3 feet and no amount of clapping hands, shouts or waving of arms persuaded him to move. In fact, he retaliated with a glare that would cut glass.

I am certain he is their leader.

A friend suggested a foray into the area wielding a bat and a tennis racket. But, they are...you guessed it, in the garage.

So far, I've adopted a Scarlett O'Hara, "I'll think about it tomorrow" attitude towards to the whole mess. But, I've realized the longer I wait, the more chaos the garage will ultimately be in.

I think it's time for action. It's time for the big guns.

"Hey Dad, want to stop over for a beer?"....