The Most Interesting Man In The World Is . . . ANNOYING!
May 7, 2014
By: O. J. Cunningham
The last time I was this annoyed by TV commercial marketing was two or three years ago during a Valentine's Day promotion for "He went to Jared's."
But . . . It's my own fault.
I've admittedly been watching too many Game #7s during the past week of the NBA playoffs.
And this damn Dos Equis beer promo is . . . (How You Say in your Country?) EVERYWHERE!
The Most Interesting Man in the World says: "Don't rush into cinco . . . Start with dos." (And the little honey on the left just giggles.)
(That might actually be the most bothersome thing about the whole ad premise.)
Really?
That fossil? A three-way?
And she giggles? Really?
"Oh (blushing) . . . Mr. Most Interesting Man in the World." Giggle. "You're so naughty." Giggle.
Right!!!!
C'mon . . . That geezer ain't hittin' those two babes in the commercial just because it's May 5 or because he's drinking Dos Equis beer.
Every time I see the 30-second advertisement, I think about Hugh Hefner and his Playboy Bunny "girl friends."
Seriously . . . Can you spell E.S.C.O.R.T?
No . . . I ain't jealous.
And . . . I ain't buying the beer.
And I'm not EVER going to Jared.
But I am listing the top 100 "Dos Equis" quotes that continue to annoy us all . . . Well, at least they annoy me.
TOP 100 DOS EQUIS QUOTES
by The Most Interesting Man in the World
He gave his father "the talk"
His passport requires no photograph
When he drives a car off the lot, its price increases in value
Once a rattlesnake bit him, after 5 painful days, the snake finally died
His Cinco de Mayo party starts on the 8th of March
His feet don't get blisters, but his shoes do
He once went to the psychic, to warn her
If he were to punch you in the face you would fight off a strong urge to thank him
Whatever side of the tracks he's currently on is the right side, even if he crosses the tracks
He can speak Russian... in French
He never says something tastes like chicken.. not even chicken
Superman has pajamas with his logo
His tears can cure cancer, too bad he never cries
The circus ran away to join him
Bear hugs are what he gives bears
He once brought a knife to a gunfight... just to even the odds
When he meets the Pope, the Pope kisses his ring
His friends call him by his name, his enemies are all dead
He has never waited 15 minutes after a meal before returning to the pool
If he were to visit the dark side of the moon, it wouldn't be dark
He once won a staring contest with his own reflection
He can kill two stones with one bird
His signature won a Pulitzer
When a tree falls in a forest and no one is there, he hears it
He once got pulled over for speeding, and the cop got the ticket
The dark is afraid of him
Sharks have a week dedicated to him
His ten gallon hat holds twenty gallons
No less than 25 Mexican folk songs have been written about his beard
He once made a weeping willow laugh
He lives vicariously through himself
His business card simply says "I'll Call You"
He once taught a German Shepherd how to bark in spanish
He bowls overhand
In museums, he is allowed to touch the art
He is allowed to talk about the fight club
He once won a fist fight, only using his beard
He once won the Tour-de-France -- on a unicycle
A bird in his hand is worth three in the bush
His lovemaking has been detected by a seismograph
The Holy Grail is looking for him
Roses stop to smell him
He once started a fire using only dental floss and water
His sweat is the cure for the common cold
Bigfoot tries to get pictures of him
Werewolves are jealous of his beard
He once turned a vampire into a vegetarian
He once started a fire using only dental floss and water
His sweat is the cure for the common cold
He once won the world series of poker using UNO cards
He never wears a watch because time is always on his side
He has taught old dogs a variety of new tricks
He has won the lifetime achievement award... twice
If opportunity knocks, and he's not at home, opportunity waits
Batman watches Saturday morning cartoons about him
When he was young he once sent his parents to his room
He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels
His beard alone has experienced more than aot at home, opportunity waits
His blood smells like cologne
On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.
His hands feel like rich brown suede
Mosquitoes refuse to bite him purely out of respect
He is fluent in all languages, including three that he only speaks
Once while sailing around the world, he discovered a short cut
Panhandlers give him money
When he goes to Spain, he chases the bulls
His shadow has been on the 'best dressed' list twice
When he holds a lady's purse, he looks manly
Two countries went to war to dispute HIS nationality
When in Rome, they do as HE does
His pillow is cool on BOTH sides
The Nobel Academy was awarded a prize from HIM
When he holds a lady's purse, he looks manly
Two countries went to war to dispute HIS nationality
When in Rome, they do as HE does
His pillow is cool on BOTH sides
The Nobel Academy was awarded a prize from HIM
While swimming off the coast of Australia, he once scratched the underbelly of a Great White
He taught Chuck Norris martial arts
Time waits on no one, but him
Once he ran a marathon because it was "on the way"
He taught Chuck Norris martial arts
Time waits on no one, but him
Once he ran a marathon because it was "on the way"
His mother has a tattoo that says "Son"
The star on his Christmas tree is tracked by NASA
Presidents take his birthday off
His recipe for deviled eggs involves actual witchcraft
He has never walked into a spider web
He is left-handed. And right-handed
The star on his Christmas tree is tracked by NASA
Presidents take his birthday off
His recipe for deviled eggs involves actual witchcraft
He has never walked into a spider web
He is left-handed. And right-handed
His shirts never wrinkle
The police often question him, just because they find him interesting
His organ donation card also lists his beard
He doesn't believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders
His cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, stayts never wrinkle
Respected archaeologists fight over his discarded apple cores
Even his tree houses have fully finished basements
His garden maze is responsible for more missing persons than the bermuda triangle
If he were to say something costs an arm and a leg, it would
He's never lost a game of chance
He is the life of parties that he has never attended
He was on a recent archaeological dig and came across prehistoric foot prints that lead out of Africa into aay something costs an arm and a leg, it would
