Thinking Out Loud
Bee Cool

June 13, 2014
By: Diane Szczepanski

Such bees! Bilbo had never seen anything like them.
"If one were to sting me," He thought "I should swell up as big as I am!
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

A bee recently flew in my car.

A big one.

I do not like bees.

I think it flew back out, but did not visually verify this fact 100, swear on a Bible, percent.

Therefore, I will suspect it is lurking in my car waiting for the opportune moment to strike my tender flesh and I will be on high alert status until the deep freeze of winter.

Apiphobia, yep, I have it.

What is Apiphobia? A fear of bees and I am one of the hopeless cases in which there appears to be no cure.

Maybe it's my perfume that attracts them, or maybe it is the smell of fear they detect. It's hard to say. All I know is, I am always the one in any group of people gathered together, these little buggers will be drawn to.

It's not fair, I tell you. It's NOT fair.

I would go to battle with a big, hairy, disgusting looking spider any day. I would take on any blood sucking bat that dared to enter my home or any snake that chose to slither through my yard.

But, bees? That's a different story.

So, now I wait it out.

Every time I drive from here on in, I'll check my rear view mirrors for any signs of motion inside the vehicle, as often as a teenager rolls their eyes and asks for lunch money.

I will spend my days in silence, with the car radio off, so I can be assured to hear it coming. I will be forced to listen to the thoughts in my head telling me over and over to organize my shoe closet, for heaven's sake.

It's going to be a long summer.