Thinking Out Loud
Growing Up

March 1, 2015
By: Diane Szczepanski

When we are children we seldom think of the future. This innocence leaves us free to enjoy ourselves as few adults can. The day we fret about the future is the day we leave our childhood behind.
Patrick Rothfuss

Imagine if you will, that you are almost nineteen years old, your significant other is at the New York City Conservatory of Dramatic Arts.

And you have a plane ticket to go see them for ten days.

All while staying in a rented apartment in Manhattan and the opportunity to take in the sights and sounds of the Big Apple.

As a mother, I have all the appropriate worries any parent would consider.

Will he have a safe flight? Will he get lost? Or mugged? Will he have enough money?

As a person, I am jealous.

And a little bit proud he chose the one place in this world to visit, that I feel I should have lived. But, because I started fretting about the future way too young, my path de-railed a bit.

I always knew he was destined for big city life. The text I got today from my son said it all. "i love nyc". Period. Nothing more, nothing less.

So, I wish for him to dream big and follow his passion.

Yes, I know that ultimately it will take him a distance away from me, but my job as a parent will culminate in his confident independence.

For now, I just hope he doesn't leave his childhood behind too soon.

I'm not ready.