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Issue 1465 April 22, 2012
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Here's the Full Scoop on this Season Called SPRING

When Did You Ever Wear Shorts to the St.Pat's Parade (Drunk Does Not Count)

March 25, 2015       Leave a Comment
By: O. J. Cunningham

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Harley Finkman's Back Yard:
Spring Is Here When You Can Read the Sign.
 

The first thing a columnist has to know when he/she writes a column about spring is when you're supposed to capitalize the word Spring.

I've never ever been sure . . . for as long as I can remember . . . (My mom, rest her soul, would be soooo disappointed)

So the trick (at least for me) is to keep alternating the spelling of SpriNg. And then hope no one notices . . . or at least loses track. I've found this also works to camouflage a lack of spelling expertise when it come to WInteR, SuMMeR and faLL also.

Now for the official (boring) stuff: The SPRING solstice or vernal equinox is the day in sPrinG when daytime and nighttime are of equal length. This tends to happen around March 21st of each year.

This special day has been celebrated by mankind for thousands of years. Even the earliest civilizations kept track of the seasons and stars, to help plan their planting and gathering schedules. For many different societies, the SPRIng solstice marked the end of winter and the approach of sPRing, fertility, and fresh food.

Even as Christianity moved into the world and took over many traditional practices, it absorbed the SPrinG fertility celebrations into the new Easter practices. For example, the actual date that Easter is celebrated each year is based on the vernal equinox. Starting with the vernal equinox, you wait for the first full moon. The next Sunday after that is when Easter is held.

Traditional symbols of the spRing equinox include signs of fertility - fresh flowers, rabbits, chickens, eggs, and the color green.

    Sign of Fertility - Look, there's a pretty girl.
    Rabbits - Where did all those rabbits come from, Dad?
    Chickens/Eggs - McDonald's Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit.
    Color Green - Green is what happens to beer and Shamrock Shakes on Saint Patrick's Day.

    Every year in Michigan, the general population gets damn impatient about waiting for SPRing to "sprung." You know the old poem . . . "Spring has sprung . . . the Grass is Riz . . . I wonder where the flowers Iz . . .

    One of the most famous harbinger of SpRIng is right here in Bay City. Right here on the East Side, near Harley Finkman's dad's (It might be Frinkmen) place over by Carroll Park . . . maybe it's Vet's Park.

    Anyway, I think one of the garden clubs plant flowers there every year. We all know that SprinG is right around the corner when the snow begins to melt and we can finally see the tip of the sign in Harley's back yard.

    Yes Sir! When you can finally read the sign . . . SPRING is certainly close at hand.

    One thing sure . . . If the Groundhog in Pennsylvania sees his shadow, it'll be cold for the St Patrick's Day Parade in Bay City.

    So, armed with this level of poetic license, we can easily see how impatient Michiganders can become.

    There's something about March 1st (every year) that gets everyone all cranked up about warm weather. (Watch My Lips) It NEVER happens. When is the last time you wore shorts and a t-shirt to the St. Patrick's Day Parade in Bay City? (Drunk doesn't count)

    Every year, it's either snowing, blowing a wind chill under 15 degrees or it's something like today's parade . . . gray, damp, cold, snow and slush on the ground . . . etc, etc.
    Another oft cited harbinger of SPRINg is the return of animals to well known geographic places.

    Nature speaks to us about sprIIng in subtle ways.

    Like the college student that returns annually to Daytona Beach, or Fort Lauderdale, Florida for SpRInG break, other animals also (on cue) return to lesser known tourist havens.

    Hinckley, Ohio: The good folks of Hinckley, Ohio celebrate the arrival of spring when the Turkey Buzzards return from their winter stomping (fertility) grounds in the southern United States and points beyond. Thousands of the birds arrive on or about the 15th of March and set up housekeeping (fertility) in Hinckley.

    How many of you have ever been too Hinckley, Ohio on March 15? Raise your hands! Not Too Many!


    Dairy Queen -- Baldwin, MI
    Photo by O. J. Cunningham
    © MyBayCity.com


    Baldwin, Michigan: Every year, like clockwork, Steelhead fishermen swarm the city of Baldwin, Michigan (near Ludington) -- at the headwaters of the Pere Marquette River -- for the annual run of fish that swim up that river to make (fertility) fish babies.

    But whether the weather is warming or not . . . The "official" arrival of sPrInG is the day that the Baldwin Dairy Queen officially opens their drive-thru. Yup, it's that simple.


    Capistrano, California: Everyone knows about the swallows and Capistrano . . . Don't they?

    The miracle of the "Swallows" of Capistrano takes place each year at the Mission San Juan Capistrano, on March 19th, St. Joseph's Day.

    As the little birds wing their way back to the most famous Mission in California, the village of San Juan Capistrano takes on a fiesta air and the visitors from all parts of the world, and all walks of life, gather in great numbers to witness the "miracle" (fertility) of the return of the swallows.

    Each year the "Scout Swallows" precede the main flock by a few days and it seems to be their chief duty to clear the way for the main flock to arrive at the "Old Mission" of Capistrano. Capistrano is not in San Juan (Like many think) but is in California. Be sure to make travel plans now for next sprING. Everybody's going to be there. (fertility)

    I'll be in Baldwin, MI waiting for the lights to go on at the Dairy Queen.

    EDITOR'S NOTE: The word "fertility" is used ten (10) times in this column. If the word "fertility" offends you, you should NEVER read columns written by O.J. Cunningham.

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    O. J. Cunningham

    O. J. Cunningham is the Publisher of MyBayCity.com. Cunningham previously published Sports Page & Bay City Enterprise. He is the President/CEO of OJ Advertising, Inc.

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