The Toni & Trish house sits in a quiet wooded area near Auburn where the terminally ill can be comforted in their last days. TONI & TRISH: Hospice in Auburn Area Has Had 300 Guests Since Start in 2008
September 28, 2014
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Toni and Trish are two women whose lives have made a difference.
They never knew each other and they never knew how their existence has benefitted the most needy segment of society -- the terminally ill.
Toni was a hospice nurse and Trish spent her last days planning how her work could serve others.
The dreams of Trish and of Toni's family succeeded certainly beyond any expectations.
The name "Toni & Trish House" is becoming more and more familiar to people in this area.
The name should not create a sense of dread, although almost everyone who becomes a guest never leaves the house alive.
But they pass on to another world peacefully, comforted in their last days and hours by a caring group of volunteers.
The story is as inspiring as it is heart-wrenching.
The house is named for a nurse, Toni Waskevich and "Trish," -- Pat McKelvey -- whose son John McKelvey is a nurse and director of the house that has seen 300 patients come and go in the six years it has been open.
"We wouldn't want anyone to die alone -- and this creates a space for that," says McKelvey whose life mission is to care for the dying, a unique but touchingly important facet of life.
Love for one's fellow human beings is the most vital part of hospice work, he says.
The project held a fundraiser luncheon Thursday in Midland where thousands of dollars undoubtedly were raised to continue and perhaps expand the hospice work.
Improvements are planned to the modest three-bed house at a church complex just outside Auburn, and, if the money is available, another facility may be built.
Originally a convent built in 1962 for Roman Catholic nuns at the nearby St. Anthony church and school, the building was to have been a retirement home for priests. But as times changed, it was vacant for many years until the hospice need arose.
There we met Harry Grether, a Midlander who volunteers at the Toni & Trish House. He showed my wife Dolores and I through the house, noting a poignant fact: "See that window?" he asked. "That's where I would sit with George, one of our guests who would watch the birds in that feeder. He could even tell me whether the bird that landed had been there before."
The fates aligned after the deaths of the namesakes of the house.
Toni was a hospice nurse who died in a car accident in 1996. Toni's family established a hospice fund with hopes of creating a home for the terminally ill. Trish received hospice care at her home and died in 2005. The two families joined their funds to create the Toni & Trish House, a place where terminally ill people can live and receive hospice care. Supported by donations and staffed solely by volunteers who provide 24-hour care, cooking, cleaning and emotional support to guests and their families without charge.
The average stay for a guest is 17 days and the house has welcomed even a newborn child with a congenital defect who lived only a few days.
Opened on March 10, 2008, the house is located in a quiet, wooded area. The living room and three bedrooms have the feeling of home. One room has been converted into a chapel.
"It is a home, not a facility," the home's website stresses.
The three guestrooms are: the Reder Room, the English-Calahan Room, and the Memorial Presbyterian Deacons Room, all dedicated to persons connected to the project or their relatives. Each large room has its own bath. This allows family and visitors to spend private time with the guest.
John S. McKelvey, son of Pat "Trish" McKelvey, is a registered nurse who also has an associate's degree in hospice and grief counseling and has worked in intensive care units.
"After my mother's death, at her own home, I became motivated to create this home -- the Toni & Trish House," he said. "We wouldn't want anyone to die alone -- and this creates a space for that."
McKelvey told a writer his 15 years in end-of-life situations in other environments -- hospital ICUs, emergency rooms and nursing homes -- has made him appreciate the Tony & Trish House.
McKelvey said: "They can relax -- the families as well as the guests and even one day in that environment is important."
McKelvey said guests and their families benefit, but the volunteers also benefit. "There's a preciousness of our human life. It helps us to prioritize what and who is important in our daily lives," he said. "In some ways I think the volunteers benefit more from this."
McKelvey said that it can be tough going through the grieving process with the families.
"You have to realize that it is going to affect you," he said. "But it's important to be a part of the celebration of their lives."
One unforgettable guest was George, a former snowshoer in Special Olympics. "He touched a lot of people here," said McKelvey.
The volunteers all have those patients with whom they connect, McKelvey said, noting that it becomes apparent when volunteers take extra shifts or ask to be called when the end-of-life is near.
Grether has written and published a book, "Lessons From An Imperfect World," that describes, in part, the death of his daughter, Denise. He has given away thousands of the books which include "stories that inspire, give hope and speak from the heart."
Perhaps George, with the insight of a person in the last days of life, could recognize the birds at the feeder; no doubt our senses for the ways of nature are heightened.
No doubt we all will find that out some day.
To volunteer or make a financial contribution, people can contact the Toni & Trish House at (989) 662-6400 or www.toniandtrishhouse.org. ###
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tennis1960 Says:
On September 29, 2014
at 09:31 AM
I very touching story.......nice piece keep them coming!!!!
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