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Issue 1262 June 27, 2011
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Daytime Chelsea on the left. Night time Chelsea on the right.

I'm Glad I Have a Female Cat, Not a Daughter.

The Feline Double Standard

June 26, 2011       Leave a Comment
By: Josh Sharrow

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Recently, The Sharrow household has adopted a family cat, named Chelsea. My 3 year old son Brady loves her. She sleeps all day. She's litter trained, and is an all around good pet

DURING THE DAY!

Daytime Chelsea is okay. Night time Chelsea is a different story. Apparently, Chelsea is in heat 365 days a year. The neighbor male cats are therefore extremely happy that she has moved into the neighborhood!

How do I know this!?

It's apparent due to the fact, they have all made my back porch a local "Hook Up Spot".

I beginning to feel a little like the crazy cat lady (Guy) at the end of the road! At any given moment, there can be anywhere between 3-10 cats prowling around my back yard -- waiting for their opportunity to romance my once innocent Chelsea.

After many nights of continuous meowing, purring, roaring, and the occasional paw in the face, we have decided to let our little Chelsea go outside and hang out with her friends.

What could be the harm in letting her play with her friends.

RIGHT?

WRONG!

Last night, Chelsea and a black cat (For the sake of conversation, we'll call him Bob), had a small argument last night through the French doors leading to my back deck. Again, Chelsea was allowed to go outside, be with Bob, and do whatever cat's do at 3:30AM!

I hope she knows that if she were my (Human) daughter, this would never be acceptable? Just because she and her boyfriend were arguing, I would never let her just go with him at 3:30AM.

And for the record, it would never be acceptable for a bunch of guys to just hang out on my back porch yelling at my window, waiting for my little girl to come outside.

The moral of this story?

What is the point?

Apparently, I should have paid more attention to Bob Barker's message rather than those two statuesque, attractive girls known as "Barker's Beauties"!

I should have listened when Bob Barker told us all to "Have your pets spayed or neutered."

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Josh Sharrow

Sharrow is the Sales Manager, columnist, writer, coffee maker for O.J. Advertising and an on-air personality for 98 KCQ.

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