Cherish Thomas delivers a powerful message on behalf of the Michigan Youth Opportunities Initiative. (MyBayCity Photo by John Keuvelaar)

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Foster Children Rising Above Despair

Guest speaker Cherish Thomas tells her story of triumph

May 31, 2015       Leave a Comment
By: John Keuvelaar

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Thursday night, the Bay area chapter of the Michigan Youth Opportunities Initiative presented a program on the success of foster care children. The message was geared at educating the audience of their journeys from an abusive home to foster care; surviving all the trials and tribulations to ultimately rising above the pain, the sorrow, the fears and tears to joining the trail of productive adults. MYOI is a Department of Human Services program made up of children and young adults who are currently or have been in foster care.

The MYOI youths set the tone for the evening by reading poems that they personally wrote which reflected in large part their emotions, their experiences and their lives. Titles like "My Feelings About You," "Who will Cry for the Little Boy," "System" and "Necessities" gives insight to the content of the poems. The keynote speaker was Cherish Thomas, a master's level social worker and founder of the "Cherish Our Youth" foundation who is also a product of the system since she was one year old. Her story is about an area of life that most people don't know about the trauma and pain that too many of our children experience. Ms Thomas also shared statistical information that spread more light onto her message. Such information included that one out of every four children who end up in foster care as a result of trauma suffer from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome), less than 3 percent got to college and one out of five will become homeless at some point in their life.

Born to a young mother that was addicted to drugs, Ms. Thomas was removed from her mother when she was three years old. By age five, she had been adopted and separated from her two siblings. By age 11, she had been sexually and physically abused and molested and was in a group home in Georgia. By age 13, she had lived in seven states and was in the United Methodist Children's Home in Georgia where she shared a "cottage" with ten other kids. Ms. Thomas spoke of the survival coping skills that she had developed that included anger and aggression toward others in order to protect her and survive. She frequently ran away from foster homes but noted, "Nobody asked what she was running from." She explained she was running from more verbal, emotional and sometimes physical and sexual abuse while in the homes from foster parents, other foster children, friends and relatives of the foster parents as well as schoolmates and strangers. In one foster home, she was molested every night by her foster dad. Thomas expounded on how she later learned that her behaviors resulted in a host of diagnosis's as workers focused on her negative behaviors without also seeing her accomplishments and successes, especially in school. "School was her refuge." Through all that she endured, she earned herself a full ride scholarship to the University of Michigan receiving her degree in four years. She went on into the masters program earning a master's in social work and is finishing up on a second masters which will allow her to open her own residential home. Ms Thomas message was multiple. First, it was to foster care youth that regardless of the hand you are dealt, you can make it and succeed. She encouraged them to look in the mirror and ask yourself, who do you want to be then go be it.

Second, Ms Thomas' message was to foster care workers and parents. To help abused and neglected children she stressed the need to Communicate, Connect and Change. Communication needs to be open, honest and genuine. Don't just go through the motions. Connect with the youth on a personal level. The youth need to see the foster parents and workers as a person, not having all the answers but willing to work with them and be interested in them. And finally Change. Ms Thomas encouraged the workers and parents to ask the foster care child where their care and what they are providing is lacking. Then make the changes to insure the youth's needs are met. Make the youth feel valued, heard and respected. Her final message was to those people who are not as familiar with the plight of abused and neglected children and the foster care system. She wanted them to know how damaging the trauma from abuse is. That foster care isn't a magic wand that fixes all and that we need to look beyond the children's behavior, understand what they are going through and support and encourage them to succeed without labeling. Ultimately it is the sincere patience and understanding that will help the child through the trauma they have endured. The second half of the program was equally as inspiring. The MYOI youths shared in their way their emotions and how they now feel and are rising above their abuse and neglect. Through one word posters, they expressed their feels of themselves and how they are succeeding. Words like Strong, Accomplishment, Graduate, "I have purpose," Protected and how this all works into Forever are words they have come to live by. The evening ended with the youths sitting in front of us all as a panel opening up themselves to questions. This was their opportunity to share a bit of their experiences and how they have learned to survive and move on with their lives. Even more compelling was their willingness to step out from behind the podium and expose themselves and their lives to us all.

For this writer, this second half of the program was very emotional. Having been their prosecutor for the last 16 years, and now the Probate Judge, I know the heartache they endured that led them into foster care. I know how they have struggled through the process and to see how they have grown, matured and are succeeding was truly inspiring. We need to keep encouraging these youths and work with their struggles. As one youth said, they didn't ask for this life and now they are trying to work through it. At least for these youths and many more like them, they have risen above their despair. To learn more about Cherish Thomas story, her foundation or the stories of many such children, go to YouTube: Cherish Thomas or you may contact her directly at cherish@gmail.com. You may also wanted to check out Removedshortfilm.com.

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John Keuvelaar
John Keuvelaar is a college student at Midwest Photography Workshops and Delta College. More from John Keuvelaar

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